I was re-reading some previous posts of mine and came across the one about "Changes". Well, let's just say that some of those changes didn't happen exactly how I had envisioned. I am specifically talking about the health/fitness/diet changes that I referred to. Believe me, I have tried just about everything - low carb, high carb, WW, rabbit food, even diet pills. UGH! I'm not really an exerciser.......honestly, I really just don't like it. I have joined classes in the past and I have had fun AND benefited from them. I am not a "join a gym and go" kind of person or a "get a video and do it at home" kind of person. Nope...it won't happen for longer than a week. I need structure. I need a time-designated class to go to - the accountability involved in that motivates me. But I still have reasons, ok..... excuses right now why I can't join a class. Wah, wah, wah...
I have struggled with my weight (or at least my own perception of it) most of my adult life. Up and down, up and down, up and down. Am I grossly overweight? No. I know that most of it is my own poor self-image.....my whole life. My sweet husband tells me every day that I'm beautiful. I believe that he sees that. But when I look in the mirror, it's "GAG"!! I am not a naturally skinny person and I never will be (thanks, genetics). I'm what you would call curvy (although that's not the word I use) AND I'm 4'10". Those two things can sometimes be not so pretty. So, I struggle, physically and emotionally.
My daughter introduced me to a new way of life a while ago. I put off trying it....for months, although I saw it work beautifully for her. She let me borrow her book - it sat on my shelf because, well, you know, I'm "too busy" to read right now. I decided to take it on our trip to San Diego and start reading it on the flight - no laundry staring at me, no sewing project waiting, no distractions. I read a few chapters and I was ready. She told me to read the whole book, but I was ready! She said just start with cutting out a few things and start eating the right kind of breakfasts first (I have always been a breakfast skipper), but I WAS READY!!! I had to just jump right in and not look back - that's just how I roll. All or nothing. All in. Ready.
32 days ago I started Trim Healthy Mama TM. We had just gotten in the night before from SD, so I didn't have all the right groceries that I needed, but I just ate what I had that was on plan. This was on December 9. After about a week, I thought, "What the heck? Christmas is coming and I started this now? What was I thinking?" But remember, I was all in. I baked no cookies (the first time in my whole adult life, I think), my poor family. My youngest daughter asked me to make some mashed potatoes for her (because I do make pretty good ones) and I didn't even take a taste to make sure they were perfection. Not one taste!!! Our Christmas Eve Breakfast tradition was totally on plan and everyone ate it. We're talking egg/sausage casserole, bacon and yummy fruit!!! I was so happy, and pretty proud of myself, for getting through Christmas without cheating. I am month in with no sugar, so sodas (even diet), no bread (we can all cry about that), no potatoes/rice. As of today, I am 6 lbs down, and most of that was in the first 10 days. Normally, I would be about ready to give up at this point when the scale moves sooooo sloooowwwwwllllyyyy. But my clothes are fitting again and I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER, physically. And I know that it will only continue to get better and better.
That's where I'm at right now. I think about food a lot, but it's usually planning my menu for the day. I have to do that or it won't work for me. I'm learning to read labels. I am enjoying food that I have avoided in the past. Only a month in and the sight or even the thought of some of the fast food that I see on TV make me sick to my stomach. I hope that two years from now when I re-read this post, that I'm not writing about starting AGAIN! The exercise part? Well, you know, maybe when it gets warmer and I'll start walking......hahahahaha
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