Life as an Introvert

I am an introvert.  There it is......in black and white.  I haven't always liked that fact about myself, but I have been this way all of my life.  I am an observer.  I am a thinker and yes, sometimes I think too much and I miss out.

I was the quiet, shy girl in school.  It usually took me a while to make friends.  I moved around a lot, so that didn't help.  I had friends, but not many.  I was okay with that, I suppose, I liked my small circle of friends.  I was that kid in class that usually knew the answer, but rarely raised her hand.  What if, by chance, I was wrong?  And, PLEASE, don't call on me!  Horrors!!!  I guess I felt like I didn't have anything to say worth listening to.  I don't know.  I remember once in high school hearing that someone said that I was stuck up.  What??  I wanted to scream from the top of the football bleachers, "I'm not stuck up!  I'm afraid to talk to you!"

Things got a little better when I started having children.  I finally felt like I had some things in common with other moms.  It became a little easier for me to talk to people that I didn't know very well.  Thirty(something) years later, I am definitely less shy, but I am still fairly quiet.  I have often dreamed of being like that outspoken friend that just tells it like it is and that's that.  Sometimes I am able to do that, but it is usually in regards to something that I'm very passionate about.  I think that I am a very kind person.  That is a good thing, usually.  It has prevented me from being totally honest with people because I don't want to hurt them.  Well, sometimes the truth just hurts and sometimes the truth just needs to be said....kindly.   I know that I would be able to be honest in a kind way....so what is stopping me?  I'll tell you...... I'm afraid that the person wouldn't take it the way I intended it.  Sheesh.  There I go again....afraid.

As I get older (and older), I am trying to find my voice in things that matter.  It's important to me.  There are things within me that I need to get out.  There are times when I don't need to let people run over me because I'm "afraid" to speak up.  

People that are introverts know that they are introverts.  Please don't tell us that we need to talk more.  We don't.  If I make you uncomfortable because I'm too quiet, well, I'm sorry.  You can choose to love me for who I am or you can choose to move along.

So here's to INTROVERTS.  May you understand us and may you love us!