ANOTHER YEAR OLDER

Well, today I have turned 54.  I'm not really sure how that has happened, but here I am.  I don't really feel that old (most days), but the calendar says it's true. 

The past 5 years have had quite a few MAJOR life changes for me.  Some sad, some great, some happy and some not so happy.  All necessary, I suppose, in God's plan for my life even if I don't totally understand. There is a "Life Change stress scale" that's supposed to measure stress based on life changes.  According to that, I'm surprised I'm still sane.  Wait....don't ask my family about that.  I have survived it all, I'm still surviving some of the changes, making adjustments in my future plans and trying to accept it all.   

I'm not really where I thought I would be at this point in my life, but again, here I am.    I thought I would be traveling, enjoying grandbabies, having a quiet house to share with my husband, fun family holidays and get-togethers with friends.  With the exception of enjoying my precious grand daughter, it isn't like that at all.  An empty-nester, but not really.  My nest now includes my sweet Daddy, who requires 24 hour care.  It's been a very difficult life change, often lonely, somewhat restrictive; but it is, I believe, part of God's plan for my life.

I'm not really sure exactly what the rest of God's plan is, but I am trying so hard to accept it, embrace it, enjoy it, and live it to my best ability.   54.  It's not so bad.     

2014

A new year.  A new start.  A fresh slate.  This is usually one of my favorite times of the year.  I have survived the holidays and I am ready to start fresh.  I don't make resolutions, they are and have been always a point of failure for me.  Instead, I make goals - short term mostly because they seem a little easier.  One of these goals is to write more on my two blogs.  They aren't fancy blogs, they are probably more like journals, but I am hoping to incorporate more into this one especially.   

I was looking forward to the New Year since right before Christmas.  Ready to put 2013 behind me.  It wasn't a bad year... A LOT of really good things happened...just ready for new things.  And 2014 promises to be a grand year with a new grandbaby and a wedding.  I am so super excited about these things.  

Just as I was ready for January 1, it seems that (what I will now call) "The Monster" has taken over.  Things are changing because, well, life changes.  I am changing and although I am certain that the end result will be just fine, the process is proving to be somewhat painful.  With my ever-so-supportive husband and my family, we will get through this.  It may be a long journey, there may be some not-too-happy posts, but at the end we will be okay.  I'm sure there will be more posts about this "Monster" and maybe I will be able to explain a little more - if I can understand myself. 

Today is my Mom's birthday.  She is celebrating it in Heaven.  I am sad.  It's just part of it.  I'm trying to not dwell on the sadness but more the celebration of her.  Like I said....I'm trying.  I believe ice cream is in order.  

That's all for today.